Talking to Your Adult Children About Your Retirement Preferences

So you’ve decided — or you’re close to it — to move from your home to a continuing care retirement community. Now it’s time to tell your kids.

This conversation should go just fine, right?

Reactions from adult children can run the gamut: full support of mom and/or dad to, well…apprehension. Usually the latter comes from a misunderstanding of all a CCRC offers, incorrectly believing their parents are moving to “a home” or “facility.”

That’s not reality (and “facility” is a forbidden term here). Independent living communities as part of a CCRC or Life Plan community operate more like a resort, with varied floor plans, dining venues, wellness and fitness centers, and activities aplenty. Part of the value of a CCRC is that, by designation and accreditation, they must also offer the full continuum of care through assisted living, skilled nursing, and memory care (including a brand new community here) — without the need to move, or pay a higher or unpredictable monthly fee.

“Moving to Ginger Cove was a gift to our children and it was the best decision we ever made,” say Jim and Erma, Ginger Cove residents since 2005. “We are much healthier, physically and mentally, due to a low-stress lifestyle and active social life.”

Deciding to move to a senior living community is decision that puts you and keeps you in control while maintaining your independence for as long as possible — for some, potentially even your entire time here.

But here’s how to explain all that to the kids.

“CCRCs have Assisted Living, but they’re not only Assisted Living.”

Assisted living communities, as part of a CCRC or a standalone community, play an important role for many older adults who can no longer live independently. A CCRC’s on-site assisted living is there for those residents from the adjacent independent living community who can no longer take care of themselves.

Older adults are encouraged to decide their future living plans before the decision is made for them through a health issue — at which point, there’s no option to enter a CCRC living and benefit from its predictable fee structure. When a person can no longer live independently is when they would move to a standalone assisted living community and pay those service fees.

A continuing care retirement community like Ginger Cove starts all residents — who must pass a health screening to enter — in independent living. Think of it as the independence you want with additional support — if you need it, later.

“It’s financial peace of mind.”

Does living in a CCRC cost more than staying at home in a house that may be paid off? Yes…but there’s an asterisk.

The monthly fee covers maintenance-free living, utilities, meals, and pre-paid costs for healthcare services, should those needs arise later. While there may be no mortgage, by continuing to live there, you’re still on the hook for utilities upkeep (like that roofing project you’ve been putting off). And if there’s a fall or sickness requiring rehabilitation, or you need at-home care later, those fees can be unpredictable.

Predicable monthly fees can help offset the unpredictability of healthcare, meaning a CCRC can actually be a valuable tool in one’s future planning. In addition, a portion of your entrance fee and your fixed monthly service fees count as prepaid medical benefits and are therefore a tax deduction.

“CCRCs are an important part of estate planning.”

It’s not pleasant to think about at any age, but it’s important to plan for the next generation once we’re gone — and for continued success of the life you’ve worked so hard to build.

While important to discuss with your financial planner, CCRCs can offer a key tool for estate planning through predicable care costs (the alternative is hoping for the best or paying unpredictable out-of-pocket costs later). And then there’s the subject of entrance fees, an often misunderstood part of retirement communities.

The entrance fee is the up-front fee residents must pay to enter a CCRC. It is usually paid through the sale of a home, and covers the cost of care and the amenity-rich environment that helps Ginger Cove and other independent living communities feel more like a resort. However, most entrance fees are refundable. At Ginger Cove, for example, one of our financial plans refund 90% of the entrance fee to help preserve your estate (after meeting certain terms outlined in the Residency Care Agreement, such as your apartment becoming occupied by another resident).

“This will let me live in a place with active, same age, like-minded people.”

One of the paradoxes of retirement? Our calendars are more filled than those with young kids and careers. That’s especially true at Ginger Cove, where it’s impossible to hit all the activities in our weekly calendars.

Indeed, independent living communities within a CCRC are especially social places. Just because we’re in our 60s, 70s, 80s or better doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy the same connections and fun times we had in our early adult years (the Chesapeake Dining Room and Bugeye Bar are particularly popular gathering places).

Need a statistic to back you up? An Institute on Aging study spoke to 5,000 CCRC residents across 29 states and found the vast majority said moving to the community improved their social wellness. They reported higher life satisfaction, a better mood, more positive perceptions of aging, less stress and depression, and more control over their lives.

“The costs of staying home add up, too.”

Some adult kids may be reluctant to see their parents give up their home — especially if it’s the same one they grew up in.

Seniors who choose to age in place still hold a price tag, even if the mortgage is paid: routine maintenance and upkeep, utility bills, taxes, and the unpredictable cost of at-home care in the future. And all it takes is a fall or sickness for you to have to move out into a healthcare community.

Making the decision on your own terms avoids a loss of control later.

Adult kids can and should ask their own questions, too.

Adult child? Consider the “3 As” of helping your parents prepare for CCRC living.

•  Arrange a visit. With COVID-19 mostly passed, most retirement communities now accept visitors and are once again allowing for overnight stays. Go experience the community, eat a meal, and get a feel for the environment.
• Assess financial stability. A good indicator of whether the community is healthy? Occupancy. High occupancy usually means the community is able to maintain a strong balance sheet and invest in services. A good CCRC has an open-door policy in its leadership. Reach out and ask.
• Analyze the amenities. While residents can live on their own independently, the best CCRCs also offer a host of amenities, activities, and concierge services. Make sure mom, dad, or your loved one will be treated well.

Maintain your independence at Ginger Cove.

Located in Annapolis, Ginger Cove is a CCRC for active older adults. Get to know all the features of Ginger Cove and schedule a tour by filling out our contact form.